Marital infidelity is one of the major problems that leads to divorce in marriage. Every couple is different, and what worked for others may not work for you. But that doesn’t mean you can’t get some tips on how to make your marital home thrive.
Sometimes we think that the best way to address a problem such as this is to just walk away from it — as in seriously let it go; Not every slight problem
must be addressed; You must know that not every insult is intended; Practice letting go as much as you can; Forgive more; Forget more; Bite your tongue until the tip bleeds; And once in a while, remind yourself of why you married this person, Focus on those reasons and let stuff pass without you mentioning it. Yes all these practices are fine But I tell you inasmuch as we want to maintain and keep our home, dealing with marital infidelity goes way above that.
Dealing with a cheating spouse may be one of the hardest things you ever have to do. There’s no right answer when it comes to deciding whether or not you want to make things work.
These four steps offers possible solutions you seek:
1. ANALYZE THE PROBLEM; Communicate with your spouse, You can ask your partner questions and share your feelings without losing your cool. Also, listen to yourself, and decide whether or not your marital vow is worth saving. If you do decide you want to make things work, then you have to take things one day at a time while remembering to take care of yourself.
How do you get back those loving feelings, sense of security and trust after finding it hard with cold evidence that your partner cheated on you? What can he possibly say or do to gain back your sense of trust and loving adoration of him? Would you believe his words of praise and love for you?
What must happen for you to once again feel like a beautiful, sexy and desirable woman, loved and cherished by her man for the rest of your life? You are probably asking yourself so many questions that your mind is flooded to the point of being overwhelmed with conflicting thoughts.
Was your marriage boring, uninteresting and monotonous?
What does this other woman have that you don’t? Is she more beautiful, worldly, or sophisticated? Is she a better lover? Does she stand up to him more or act more vulnerable and innocent? What has she done to win his heart, lust and desire? You must think through it again and again.
2. THINK IT THROUGH; Being betrayed by your partner can induce rage. In your furious state, your first instinct may be to punish your mate by trash-talking him to friends (or worse, on social media), or think about having an affair yourself to get even. You may get a temporary sense of satisfaction from these sorts of actions, but ultimately they can work against you, keeping you in a state of anger instead of focusing on healing and moving on, alone or together – give it time, think it through with calmness & unbiased mind.
Think before telling even your family, They will likely have strong opinions about what you should do – leave or stay in your marital home. But nobody else really understands what goes on in another person’s marriage. While you are pondering how you’re going to proceed, it’s best to keep the details private, take things one day at a time, take care of yourself – act wisely remember the side date is waiting to pounce & have it all.
3. CONSULT EXPERTS; Don’t try to get through coping with unfaithfulness alone. Before you make any decisions about whether or not to end your marriage, it’s wise to talk to a couple’s counselor, who will be neutral and can help you gain insight into what exactly happened.
An experienced therapist can help you communicate better and process feelings of guilt, shame, and whatever else you might be feeling. If you decide to end the marriage, you’ll know that you tried your best to make it work.
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4. REBUILD AND REBRAND; Find out what is missing in the home that is catching their fancy/attention, strategize to win back your partner. Also act with patience and Love.
Here are few things to rebuild:
A. COMMUNICATION; The need for communication cannot be overemphasized. Communication will go a long way in making sure you and your spouse understand each other. Talk about everything to nothing. Don’t assume that the other person automatically knows what is going through your mind. Talk talk talk! It doesn’t always have to be when you’re together, it could be through text messages, cute emails, voice notes. Whatever means you use, don’t stop communicating *Never be too busy to communicate*.
B. LESS ARGUMENTS; Be careful not to let the sun set on your anger. It’s okay to argue since sometimes we might have conflicting opinions. However, don’t dwell on an argument – don’t let it characterize your marriage. If you can’t let it go, agree to disagree. *Don’t hold grudges longer than expected, always seek to reconcile.*
C. SPICE UP; Be spontaneous. Know what makes your spouse tick and be ready to turn them on as often as you can. Give and take – Be willing to satisfy your partner, sometimes, just do it because you want to and don’t expect anything in return. Have sex often and let it be a two-way street. *Keep the spark alive!*
D. LOOK GOOD; It’s not all about inner beauty, yes, inner beauty is important, it’s what will sustains a marriage. However, physical attraction is also key. We’re not talking about the standard social media type of beauty. It’s in the little things. Don’t let yourself go, smell nice, dress well, keep fit, look good especially male partner, looking good is good business. *Look cute & gorgeous always*
In all, learn to maintain your home… Don’t let it need rebuilding!!!